Karen's Random ThoughtsThe Good, The Bewildered, and the Downright Snarky

It’s mid-April and the weather has been devine in Minnesota. If you know anything about the upper midwest you know that perfect weather is short-lived and we must enjoy it while it’s here. It will soon be summer and so humid I can hardly stand to be outside. I prefer the cold weather in January over the hot and sticky weather in July. At least you can bundle up and it’s tolerable. You can only take off so many clothes before it’s no longer acceptable to go outside of your house. Even if you were naked it would still be intolerable. Then your skin just sticks together. Yuck.

So what I’m saying is I’m done feeling guilty about not writing very often and I’m going to take a break. I haven’t been overly inspired by anything lately and am feeling a little writer’s block. I’ve decided to step back for a little while and stop trying so hard to come up with something to write about.

I will go outside and tend my flower gardens. I will take my dogs for walks to the park. I will take a road trip to visit my daughter at college. I will enjoy every minute of this wonderful weather while I can. When the temps rise and the humidity is unbearable I will return. Thank you to everyone who so faithfully reads my blather.

Have a great spring!

My dear friend’s son, Tyler, just arrived home for a two week leave from the Air Force. He has been stationed in Okinawa, Japan for so long now that I have forgotten how long he’s been there (I’m sure his mother can tell you exactly how many days he’s been there!) He just recently returned to Okinawa from Kuwait where he completed a tour of duty as a member of a Force Protection Unit. Friends and neighbors waited impatiently outside Tyler’s home for the arrival of the car bringing him from the airport. Cheering, flag waving, and a few fireworks (that scared their dog) welcomed Tyler home.

I have known Tyler for many years. We moved into the neighborhood when he was in sixth grade, he’s now 21. Tyler was always an energetic, fun-loving, charming, thrill-seeking, impish boy that you would want to shake sometimes yet you could not help but love this kid! You would want to yell at him and he would look at you with those sparkling eyes and crooked smile and you were done. When Tyler stepped out of the car in his fatigues and military issue boots and began the round of hugs and handshakes I got a little choked up. The young boy who I had grown to love had turned into a man – a man to be proud of.

The sparkling eyes were a little dull from the fifteen hour flight, but the crooked smile was right there. My heart expanded a little. I know those eyes saw some ugly things when he was in Kuwait that most of us don’t want to know about. I have a hard time imagining that impish boy being the mature man that he would need to be to handle such things. Yet I knew the man I saw step out of that car would surely be mature enough and strong enough to do just that.

Tyler’s girlfriend, Lin-Z, also came home with him. I believe she was a little overwhelmed with the welcoming committee, but she handled herself well. Not only did she meet Tyler’s parents for the first time when they picked them up from the airport, but then she had to meet the mob when they arrived home. She managed to keep the smile plastered where it needed to be and she remained poised during the ordeal. What I noticed was Tyler’s subtle protection of her during the whole thing. He made his way through the hugs and handshakes while still keeping an eye on the prize.

Tyler has always been a lady’s man. He captured (and broke) my own daughter’s heart when they were only twelve years old. There were a string of girls who he fell in and out of “love” with over the years. The way he looked at Lin-Z was different than anything I had witnessed before. The man is definitely in love (without the quotation marks). I am just as proud of him for that as I am that he has become a man willing and capable of defending the country I live in.

To Tyler’s parents- “You’ve done a great job raising this man. It’s okay to be proud.”

To Tyler- “I am proud of the man you have become. Thank you for all you do so that I can live freely. I’m happy that you have found Lin-Z. Good luck and God-speed in whatever the future brings”

To Lin-Z- “Hang in there.”

To all military members past and present- A heartfelt “Thank you.”

I went to the salon to get my hair cut the other day. When you sit in the stylist’s chair you can see everyone in the salon in that mirror. I like to watch everyone else and listen to their conversations. I like when my stylist isn’t chatty. I know my stories. I want to hear everyone else’s chatter.

This time when I looked in the mirror I saw a pasty white, middle-aged, tired looking, over-weight woman in need of some TLC. Good thing she came to the salon today. It took me a split second before I realized (cheese and crackers!) it was ME.

You know what it’s like when you only hear a voice on the radio or over the phone then you meet that person or see their picture? Does that person ever look like what you imagined? I’ve never had the mental image and reality match on this. Well, I only look at myself in the mirror in the morning as I get ready for work. I avoid mirrors for the rest of the day. When I’m getting ready for work, I’m concentrating on one thing at a time; blow dry hair, apply face powder, apply mascara, etc. I only look at one piece of me at a time. The whole picture has gotten a little fuzzy. I have an image in my head of what I look like. Sometimes things happen, like seeing myself in the salon mirror or catching my reflection in a plate glass window, and I have a reality check.

My reality is that I don’t take care of myself. I take care of my house. I take care of my yard and gardens. I take care of my dogs. I take care of my husband. I take care of my adult children. I take care of my work at my job. I take care of my friends. I take care of my mother and brother. I take care of the laundry and cooking. I take care of my in-laws. I take care of my house plants. I take care of my car. I don’t seem to have anything left after all that to take care of me.

I see women with perfectly coiffed hair, perfectly applied make-up, perfectly manicured nails, and clothing with no wrinkles that hang on their perfect bodies perfectly. I do not wish to be one of these women. Every time I see someone like this I can only see someone who is far too self-centered to care about much but themselves. I may be wrong to generalize, but I haven’t met a woman like this yet that’s not totally obsessed with herself.

What I would like is to be thinner (healthier). I would like to look less pasty, which means I’ve been outside and more active (healthier). I would like to not have the dark circles under my eyes, which means I’m getting enough sleep (healthier). Okay, you get the idea. I would like to be healthier than I am. I don’t care that my hair has started to gray. I don’t care that my skin has started to wrinkle. I don’t care that I don’t have the body I had when I was 20. I just want to feel good. I don’t right now. I feel like that sorry looking woman I saw in the salon mirror.

So, when I finish writing this, I will begin to make my plans. I know I don’t have to stop taking care of all the things I take care of in order to take care of me. I would never want to do that. I actually love all that I care for. I do not feel like any of it is a burden. I just need to figure out how to fit some me time into all of it.

I will decide what’s important and what’s just not worth the effort. I will decide if I’m doing a particular thing because I’m concerned about what other people might think if I don’t do it or if it really is significant to living a good life. I will decide to take care of me. I feel healthier already.

My friend and I went on a walk last night. We were walking on a paved path that runs around a small lake in our neighborhood. The path is used for both walkers and bicyclists. Most people on bicycles will do the polite “On your left” as they are going to pass walkers. This is nice. Walkers know the bicyclist is coming and on which side to be cautious during their passing.

Apparently, someone has not been taught this walking/bicycling path etiquette. Come to think of it, no one taught me this etiquette. I just picked it up by observing. I guess not everyone is that observant. My friend and I are both talkers. When we get to talking, not much else penetrates our bubble. We were in the middle of one of these intense conversations and suddenly, from directly behind us, we hear a man do the Road Runner cartoon “Meep, meep.” We both jumped, turned around, and then watched as the man rode his bicycle right in between the two of us!

We were both speechless for a second (okay, maybe a split second). Speechless for the two of us is pretty amazing. My friend looked at me and said, “Okay, was that rude or is it just me?” At first I thought, “Yeah, that’s rude!” which it was. However, my second thought was, “God just made a miracle happen.” Neither one of us was speaking for that very brief moment in time. Our husbands would have been agog! They would never have believed it could happen.

Either God didn’t care for what we were talking about (at this point I can’t even remember what that was) or He looked down and thought, “Wow, those women are going to pass out of they don’t stop to take a breath.” So, along He sends our rude bicycle man. I wonder if that man on the bicycle felt anything powerful as he was passing between us (aside from the flames we were shooting out of our eyes)?

So, Rude Bicycle Man, I’m giving you a pass today. Anyone willing to face the wrath of the Talkers to do God’s will is a brave man. Go in peace.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I’ve been busy enjoying the 60 degree weather we’ve been having in Minnesota. I know 60 degrees in March may not sound like a big deal if you’re a Floridian, but believe me it is to us Northerners! We’ve broken out the shorts and tank tops!

All of the snow has melted from our yard and driveway! We’re not fanatics about getting every speck of snow off our driveway like some of our neighbors. I have a neighbor who is outside for hours clearing the snow from his driveway after every snowfall. No matter if we get just a covering of snow or many inches. I would not be surprised to see him out there with a hairdryer one of these days. Why not let the sun do the hard work for you? If you’re not from the Northern Midwest you may have the idea that the sun never comes out in the winter up here. You’re wrong. It does. If you shovel enough to get most of the snow off your driveway, the sun will do the rest (or enough of the rest anyway). In my mind, life is too short to worry about every snowflake on the driveway. Judge me however you wish. Life, again, is too short for me to worry about what you might think about me based on the condition of my driveway.

Green stuff is popping up everywhere! I love the spring flowers that are brave enough to pop up when the temps still get down to the low 40s at night. The grass is beginning to slowly come alive. I raked all the leaves and dead grass in my front yard during our beautiful weather we had over the weekend. The back yard will have to be done in stages. We have 3 huge, old oak trees back there and, well, it’s a quite a job to clean it all up. We do fall clean-up, but those trees hang on to a lot of leaves all winter. We are also not fanatics about leaf clean-up. I have another neighbor who is out every single day from the time the first leaf falls into his yard. He rakes, uses his loud (and irritating) leaf blower in the vacuum mode, and picks up leaves by hand. I’m sure he curses us the whole time. All the leaves in his yard are from our oak trees. Lighten up, dude!

Things I would rather do besides shovel and rake

Read a good book
Spend time with my husband, my children, or a friend
Take my dogs for a walk
Scrub a toilet
Volunteer for a good cause
Bake cookies
Watch a chic flick
Watch paint dry
Visit a homebound senior
Make pasta, Caesar salad, and garlic bread
Curl up on the couch with a warm blanket

I just can’t bring myself to care if I have a few patches of snow on my driveway or a few (or a lot) of leaves in my yard. I really have better things to do. Like LIVING!

That’s a whole nother story – What’s a “nother”? Spell check has underlined it in red. It’s not a word.

I could care less – Are you really trying to say you couldn’t care less? I think you are.

In’ – The language with the silent “G”
We went campin’ last weekend. In the mornin’ we went fishin’ and swimmin’. Then we went drivin’ down to Joe’s to go water skiin’ and paddle boatin’. After that we were just hangin’ around the camp fire roastin’ marshmallows and drinkin’ beer. Sleepin’ under the stars that night was sure relaxin’.

Ain’t – Ain’t a word. Spell check underlined this one too. Argue all you want. It IS NOT (or isn’t, if you prefer) a word!

The double negative- Two wrongs do make a right.
“I don’t got no” means you have some.
“I don’t want no” means you want some.
She ain’t goin’ nowhere” means she’s going somewhere (and you’ve combined a couple of wrongs).

Hunderd- As in “I bought this jacket for a hunderd dollars.” This is very Midwestern. I have not heard anyone on the east or west coast pronounce the word hundred this way. But then they have their own speaking foibles.

Buzz words and catch phrases- Although not “wrong” are irritating (okay, they are to me anyway)
“Shoot me an email.” Can I just send you one? Shooting just seems so aggressive.
“Give me a buzz.” Can I just call you? Again, seems a little too aggressive for me.
“Ballpark Figure” Meaning a close estimate. Well, if you’re talking from the pitcher’s mound to any base, that wouldn’t be too far. If you’re talking from home plate to far left field, that’s not so close. If you’re talking from third base to the upper bleachers in right field, even farther. What kind of a ballpark are we talking about that means “close estimate”?
“Stimulus and Bailout” Enough, already.
“Bottom Line” Does every point in a discussion need a bottom line? Can’t we wrap it up some other way?
“It’s a cluster.” Meaning “really messed up”. I have heard this used so frequently in business situations lately. Do these people know this is a shortened version of cluster f**k? If they do, this is really inappropriate. If they don’t, well …they’re dumb parrots and this is still really inappropriate.
“As well as” What is wrong with using the words “too” or “also”? Do you think “as well as” makes you sound smarter? No so much.

Look for a second installment of the Language Wrongs coming soon.

Born Theodore Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr Seuss, he wrote and illustrated approximately 60 children’s books. I grew up reading Dr Seuss books, as did millions of children. I then taught my children the love of Dr Seuss books. Dr Seuss stories have imaginative characters, silly phrasing that struggles to roll off the tongue, goofy rhymes, and trisyllabic meter.

When I used to read these books to my children I always gave each character its own voice. I added sound effects. I sang parts that I felt needed singing. This frustrated my husband who could never “get it right” when he would read Green Eggs and Ham or Hop on Pop. The kids felt their poor Dad just didn’t know how to read. I’m sorry, honey.

Dr Seuss stories are some of the smartest I’ve read. If I were to have become the english/literature teacher I once dreamed of being, I would have had my students read Dr Seuss. What did we ever learn from Shakespeare? Really? Can anyone tell me? I can tell you what we’ve learned from Dr Seuss. The good doctor taught us to be kind, to have fun, and to believe in ourselves. I’ll take Dr Seuss over Shakespeare any day.

I’ve mentioned before what a nut I am about quotes. Some of my favorites are from Dr Seuss. They are silly, yet deeper than the most famous philosophers. Some of these quotes are directly from Dr Seuss stories. Some of these quotes are from Theodore Geisel. All are amazingly insightful.

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” (Horton Hears a Who!)

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew, just go right along and you’ll start happening too.”

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good.”

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you`ll go.”

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

AND MY FAVORITE

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Happy Birthday to a great man who is no longer here to celebrate, but who is celebrated every time a book is opened and a child learns how important they are to the world and, no matter how small they may be, they can move mountains. We all need to take this into our adulthood.

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.” Theodore Seuss Geisel

I find it truly amazing how rampantly Americans slaughter the English language. I realize that English is actually a very difficult language with its numerous grammatical rules, exceptions to those rules, and derivatives from so many other languages. I can understand how someone whose primary language is not English would struggle with grasping it all. What I find hard to understand is someone who has heard, read, and spoken English from the moment they were born who can make speaking English sound like a foreign language.

I am not talking about regional dialects, under-education, learning disabilities or cultural diversions from the language. I’m talking about educated, middle to upper-class, supposedly intelligent people who simply cannot speak proper English. How can you spend your whole life reading books, attending high school (or college!), even watching television where people speak proper English and not hear the way that you speak is incorrect?

I know, I am sounding like a real snob here. I need you to know that I only attended one semester of college before dropping out, getting married, and immediately having a child. I was only 20 years old. I grew up in a poor family with a mother who did not graduate from high school and a father who just barely made it through before joining the Navy. I spent much of my youth in front of a television watching Hee Haw, Beverly Hillbillies and Dukes of Hazzard. Hardly a word of proper English spoken there! However, my parents were also avid watchers of the six-o’clock NEWS. Newscasters know how to speak! What they were saying wasn’t always pleasant, but the way they said it was music to my ears.

I knew, from the time I was old enough to understand, that I wanted to speak like the newscasters and not like Jed Clampett or Daisy Duke. The news was delivered with precise clarity, elocution, and efficiency of words. I may not have had many material possessions or extensive education, but I didn’t have to sound poor and uneducated! I paid attention. I observed. I read. I listened to my Language Arts teacher. Thank you Mr. D. for seeing something in me that made you give me just a little more attention.

There are many examples of strange ways that people speak, but here are some of the most recent oddities I’ve heard.

Anaways = Anyway
So I goes = I went
Fermiliar = Familiar
Supposably = Supposedly
Worsh = Wash
It needs worshed = It needs to be washed or It needs washing
Wher’ ya’ at? = Where are you?
Where yur at = Where you are
I don’t got no… = I don’t have any… or I have no…
Me and my friend = My friend and I
Any questions? See myself or George. = Any questions? See George or me.
I seen a rabbit = I saw a rabbit

I almost hated to write this one. I don’t want people to be afraid to talk to me for fear I will be judging how they say everything. I love talking to people. I do not judge people’s character by the way they speak. I just find it fascinating that so many people, who have spoken English their whole lives, are educated, read, and watch television can scramble the language so badly. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not so hot at math.

My husband reached down to pet one of our dogs the other day and said, “I don’t care what you say, I can’t imagine living without a dog again.” I don’t recall ever saying anything on the subject to start with, but I do agree with him. We were married for 17 years before we got our first dog. Our children were teenagers at the time and as much as they said they wanted a pet and would help train and care for it, you know how that one turned out. They were busy with extra-curricular activities, friends, and jobs. My husband and I did all the training, feeding, vet trips, and waste matter clean-up.

I did not mind taking on that responsibility. I have been rewarded with unconditional love, comfort, and a constant source of entertainment. It is sometimes hard to remember that they are animals and not human members of the family. We did our best to train them, but they are not perfectly behaved dogs. Perfection has always felt too overwhelming for me. I can’t bring myself to make them perfect dogs in the eyes of the world. They are perfect to us though.

As much as we have taught our dogs, we have learned just as much from them. Dogs live so openly and simply. They do not hide their feelings. Really pay attention and you may also learn these things from a dog:

Chase your dreams and, when you catch them, share them with the ones you love.

When you’re given freedom, RUN and PLAY with abandon.

Sometimes you’re not rewarded for following the rules, but follow the rules anyway.

Don’t bite the hand of the one that feeds you.

When you’ve really done something wrong, put your tail between your legs and apologize.

You get more positive attention when you act adorable.

It’s okay to let others know when they’ve invaded your personal space or
offended you. Just remember that you don’t need to bite when a growl will do.

Live in the moment.

If you bark at everything, people stop paying attention.

I give my dogs the same unconditional love they give me. I cannot even imagine the day when one of them is no longer with us. It will leave such a hole in our lives. When that happens we will get another dog to love. It will never replace what we have with Cocoa and Buddy. I am open to learning new things from a new dog, just not too soon I hope.

Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. Love is in the air. A day designed by retailers to make us believe we need to spend money to show our love. My husband and I have stood together in the greeting card store and handed each other cards we thought were appropriate.
“Here, honey, read this one. This is what I would have spent $5 on if we had the money.”
“Oh, that one was good. Here’s one for you to read. I love you too.”

I feel like Valentine’s Day adds so much pressure, especially for a guy. If he doesn’t give just the right gift or be just the right amount of romantic then he must not really love his significant other enough, right? Some people simply aren’t that good at the creative stuff. Saying “I love you” on Valentine’s Day just becomes so stressful.

Those words “I love you”, simple yet profound. Three little words packed with meaning. Although I appreciate these words as much as the next person, they can often be empty when there is no action to back the words. Here is a list of phrases I would rather hear if you really love me.

“I did the dishes.”
“I cleaned my room.”
“I took the dogs for a walk.”
“Have you lost weight?”
“Those jeans make your butt look good.”
“Let’s go out for dinner.”
“I’ll make dinner tonight.”
“I think we should take a vacation.”
“I vacuumed and dusted.”
“Mom, all my friends think you’re awesome.”

“I love you” is great, but these phrases will bring a tear to my eye. They say “I notice you, I care about you, you have meaning to me, I know what makes you tick, you make me happy, and I want to make you happy.”

Greeting card writers pay attention. It’s not always the gushy, sweetness that’s good fodder for Valentine’s Day cards. I want a card that says, “Honey, I filled your gas tank, washed your car, changed the oil, and rotated your tires. Happy Valentine’s Day!”

My “children” are grown now, but when they were younger my purse was always a source of awe for them, a pure treasure chest (bag?) of surprises. One of my daughters, in her teen years, called it the bottomless pit. I could hold more in any purse than you could imagine from looking at its innocent outer shell.

Kids were antsy in church? My purse could produce the most magical things to keep them calm and occupied. When we had a day of running errands, my purse always produced snacks that they never got if we were just at home. This made the day less dreadful for them and my purse even more mystical.

The look of disappointment at not being able to get the exorbitantly over-priced snacks at the movie theater always disappeared when they heard the zipper of the purse begin to open. Out came better treats than they would have settled for from the theater’s snack counter. Even as they grew older I would keep what I had in my purse a secret until we were seated in the theater.

Runny nose? I have tissues. Chapped lips? I have lip balm. Dry hands? I have hand cream. Hang nail? I’ve got clippers. Headache, stomach ache, paper cut? I’ve got ibuprofen, antacid, and bandages. Surprise visit from the monthly red fairy? That stuff’s in the side zippered pocket. Wind-blown hair? Would you like a comb, brush, barrette, or pony-tail holder? Impromptu stop to pick up a few things at the market? Hold on, I’m sure I have a coupon for that. No worries.

That was always my thought process for the contents of my purse. No worries. If it was needed, it was in there. My kids are in their early twenties, so I’ve been doing this for quite some time. Imagine my panic and denial when I was told by my physical therapist, “Get a smaller purse!” My purse isn’t really all that big. More medium-size. Why do I need a smaller purse? If I got a smaller purse I couldn’t be prepared for any emergency that might arise. What does the size of my purse have to do with the tendonitis in my wrist that I’m seeing you for? The answer to that was, “Nothing.”

Okay, so why the demand to get a smaller purse? He told me when he picked up my purse off the chair it was sitting on, so I could move to sit in that chair, he couldn’t believe how heavy it was. He dramatically let it “thunk” to the floor before making his demand of the smaller purse. He explained that I would be back to see him for my shoulder and back problems in no time if I continued to carry 20 pounds around on my shoulder.

His suggestion was to never have more than 4 pounds of stuff in your purse. Four pounds?! My wallet inside my purse weighs more than four pounds (not because of all the money in it, but I carried so many other things in it). What about everything else I need to carry? So, he turned into a psycho-therapist at that point. I don’t think this guy gets paid enough to deal with people like me, but he was very patient. We began the process of why I feel the need to have all these things in my purse. That will be another story. Needless to say, I bought a smaller purse, purged all the “stuff”, which was a much harder process mentally than physically, and now carry a much lighter and pared- down version of the “I’ve got it all in here” bag.

I still have a lot of stuff in my purse. I just removed all the heavy stuff. I never parked at a meter or did laundry at a Laundromat. I really didn’t need $15 in change in my purse. Tissues, lip balm, and tampons are needed and light. They’re still in there. I no longer have anything magical or surprising in the bag, but I don’t have grandchildren yet. I’ll have to come up with a lighter version of the magic purse. It’s part of who I am. I’ll find a way.

I have encountered so much rude behavior in the last couple of weeks I have been asking myself these questions. Has rudeness always been this prevalent? Is it just the Minnesota January weather that’s making everyone so cranky? Where’s the Minnesota nice we’re so well known for? Am I just becoming more aware of awful behavior?

While I was on a roll with the questions I decided I would just ask all those rude people, “Why do you think it’s okay to….

Throw a cigarette butt out of your car window? The next time I’m at a stop light, and I see someone do this, I am going to get out of my car, pick up the butt (yuck!) and hand it back to the thrower and say, ”Excuse me, I think you dropped this.”
Yell at the 16 year-old stock boy when the grocery store is out of stock or doesn’t carry something you want? He does not make the choices for what the store carries, nor is he in control of inventory. If you really want to yell, call the corporate office. By the time you find the number, hopefully you’ll realize how silly your complaint is.
Get angry with the server at the restaurant because you don’t like your food? She did not create the recipe, nor did she prepare your food. If she doesn’t take care of you once you’ve complained about your food, then you may have a gripe. Be polite. Waiting on tables and pretending to care about every person you serve food to is exhausting!
Put your entire email message in the subject line? Please, learn some email etiquette. The subject line should be no more than four words. If you’re typing so much into the subject line that it bumps to a second line, you’re really going to annoy the recipient. If that’s your goal, well then….
Forward an email (usually a joke) that’s been forwarded many times and not delete the lengthy list of email addresses? If I have to scroll, and scroll, and scroll to get the body of the email I generally don’t read it. Even if it’s the most hilarious joke, you lost me. I’m sure all those people, who had no say in the matter of receiving this joke, do not appreciate their email address being forwarded, and forwarded, and forwarded to God knows who.
Laugh and talk really loudly in public places where others are also trying to have conversations? My friend and I had not seen each other in awhile. We were having lunch and trying to catch up. The woman half-way across the restaurant was so loud we couldn’t concentrate on our own conversation. At one point she blasted a laugh so loud I nearly jumped out of my seat. I noticed other people in the restaurant were just as bothered. I have the feeling this woman thought she was just being outgoing. She was just plain R-U-D-E!!!
Blow your nose at the table? At this same lunch with this same friend, the guy at the table next to us blew his nose very loudly. The tables were pretty close together and he “politely” turned his head away from the people he was sitting with to blow his nose. So, he really blew his nose right at me. A) Blowing your nose at the table is rude B) Turning your head to the side does not make it less rude C) Blowing your nose toward a stranger rather than a friend does not make it less rude either. Yuck!!
Loudly argue with and yell at your spouse or your children in public? Not that I think this is a great idea in private either, but at least the world doesn’t have to hear you do it. I’m sure the teenager and her mother who were arguing over whether to purchase the cheese puffs or the nacho chips could have done it at a lower decibel. All I have to say to the woman who was loudly yelling at her husband because he wasn’t keeping the kids quiet in the library is, “REALLY!!??”

Ooooh, humanity, bring me to my knees! Sometimes I feel like not leaving my house.

It’s the little things that happen day-to-day from which I draw the most happiness.

Finding one more french fry in the bottom of the take-out bag.
My dogs doing the Happy Dance whenever I return home or even re-enter a room. I am loved.
Twinkle lights.
Listening to Greg and Melissa on KS95 on my way to work
Pansies and Sunflowers.
The renewing power of the color green.
Finding an item on Clearance that I can really use.
Googling my name and actually finding ME.
Fluffy blankets.
A full tank of gas.
Naps.
Warm showers on cold days.
Coffee and Chocolate. Oh, and chocolate flavored coffee!
Comments on my blog page. Wink, wink.
A book that is written so well I find myself completely immersed.
Cooking or baking something that comes out perfect.
Mornings when I don’t have to get up to an alarm clock.
The smell of freshly laundered sheets.
Finding a pair of shoes that are actually comfortable on my extra wide feet.
Mowing the lawn. Not just the fantastic smell, but the actual action makes me happy.
Knowing the answer to a difficult question.
Having someone look to me for guidance.
Queen’s Greatest Hits album.
Leaving from my job at the end of the day with ALL of my work done.
The smell of decomposing leaves in the fall.
Finding money in the pocket of a jacket I haven’t worn since last winter.

Life is too short to only appreciate the big moments. Big moments don’t happen often enough to pin all your happiness on them. Big moments are often a bunch of little things collected together. If you don’t notice and appreciate the little things, you won’t notice them coming together to make a big moment. Love the little things!

My music preferences lean toward easy listening/lite rock. However, I’m going to share one of my guilty pleasures with you. I love the music of Queen. The rock/drama renderings of this group can heal any emotional malady you may be suffering. I spent about $10 on the Queen’s Greatest Hits CD. This is much cheaper than a professional counselor or Prozac. Trust me on this one. If you do not already own this CD, go purchase it! It may even be less expensive now than when I bought it. Even cheaper therapy for you!

We Will Rock You and We are the Champions. Every high school sports team has used these anthems to bolster their team or to celebrate after a win. If you turn up the volume, stand in the middle of the room with your eyes closed, and let yourself go you can feel these songs. Pretty amazing.
Another One Bites the Dust. You’ve had a bad day. More than one person has ticked you off. Imagine each of those people “biting the dust” with each refrain. This song releases so much tension, you can’t possibly feel snarky when it’s done. Hey,hey!
Killer Queen. I have yet to figure out exactly what this song is about, yet it never fails to make me smile. It’s the goofiest thing I’ve ever heard. Marie Antoinette? Caviar and Cigarettes? Dynamite with the laser beam? Guaranteed to blow your mind! Tehe.
Somebody to Love. Your love life is in the pits. You’re going to get one of two things out of this song. You will either feel like you’re not alone in your misery. Misery loves company. Or you will realize that your love life is nowhere near as bad as this poor sap and you can move forward knowing you’ll be okay!
Fat Bottomed Girls. You cannot lose that excess weight and you’re frustrated! Well girls, there are men in this world who appreciate a real woman! Rock on! Fat bottomed girls make the rockin’ world go round? Oh, you bet we do!
Bicycle Race. Who doesn’t want to ride their bicycle? Another of the strangest songs I’ve ever heard. One that always brings not just a smile, but a really good laugh. Bicyle, Bicyle, Bicyle…! You cannot possibly feel melancholy when listening to this flaky song. Ding, ding, ring, ding, ring, ding…..
You’re My Best Friend. A tribute to great friends everywhere. We all need to have them. We all need to be them. When the world is cruel, you look to a friend. Friends make the world a tolerable place to be. To all my friends past, present, and yet to come…..Ooooh, you make me live!
Crazy Little Thing Called Love. This almost Elvis-like song, with a little Stray Cats sound thrown in for good measure (I know this came much later, but you get what I mean- it’s that sound), is just fun. Another great smiler song. Go ahead, clap along. It’s part of the experience. No one will laugh at you. Honestly.
Play the Game. When you’re feeling down and your resistance is low….all you have to do is fall in love. Wow, great advice. This song has an incredibly psychedelic feel. It’s another one where you have to turn up the volume and let yourself feel the song.

This album is just chock-full of songs. More than any other CD I own. I have not listed them all here, but I will say it again, everyone should own the Queen’s Greatest Hits CD. No group in the history of music has ever come close to the type of music and sound of Queen.

Every song has a different cure for what may ail you. If you need a laugh, it’s there. If you need to release some anger, it’s there. If you need to celebrate, it’s there. Seriously, therapy doesn’t get any cheaper than this!

It’s the middle of January. It’s 10˚ below zero outside in Minnesota. It’s gray most days with the sun not feeling like visiting. It’s dark when you leave for work in the morning. It’s dark when you come home from work in the evening. The dogs don’t want to go outside to take care of business (would you?). We become unrecognizable to each other as we bundle up in layers to brace the world outside. Lethargy, melancholy, “cabin fever”, even anger becomes common to the human race of the Midwest during this time from January to March.

We’ve gone past all the holidays and now have little to look forward to until spring. Many of us get through this time by hibernating. We go from our heated home, to our heated car, to our heated place of work (if you’re lucky enough to have an “inside” job). Then we do the reverse at the end of the day. We don’t go anywhere we don’t have to go. We don’t make much human contact. We burrow into our homes with our heavy sweaters, winter blankets, and fuzzy slippers. This makes us physically comfortable, but doesn’t fight off the winter blues.

This has been what I commonly do this time of year too. This year I’ve decided I’m not going to let the weather dictate my happiness. I’ve made a list of goals to attain by the beginning of March when I usually start feeling better. Why wait until then? Life’s too short to feel unhappy because Mother Nature isn’t happy.

Goal # 1 Read through as many books of Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse Series as I can.

Goal #2 Have contact with another human being, outside of work and family, at least once a week.

Goal #3 Volunteer 2 hours a week. The Corporation for National and Community Service has done studies that prove that people who volunteer have lower rates of depression.

Goal #4 Learn something new. Our Community Education bulletin listed a class for Belly Dancing. Hhhm. Maybe I’ll take one of the computer classes. Maybe I’ll learn a foreign language.

Goal #5 Get some kind of exercise every day. If you haven’t heard that exercise helps fight depression, you might want to crawl out from under that rock you’re under. It’s hard to do even fun winter sports when it’s this cold outside, but there is that Belly Dancing class!

I’ve decided to take control of how I feel this winter. No one else can control my feelings, especially Mother Nature. I may not reach every goal I have set for myself. Setting the goals at least gives me somewhere to start.
I will not go through another Minnesota winter feeling like I want to move to Florida. I like it here. This frigid weather makes me appreciate the really nice weather days even more. Look out snow and cold, here I come!